Painful Sex After Birth? Why It Happens (and the Best Lubricant to Help)

Why Sex Might Be Painful After Birth

Many women are surprised to find that intimacy feels sore, dry, or even impossible after giving birth. You’re not alone — this is one of the most common concerns I hear as a pelvic health physiotherapist.

A big reason for this is low estrogen levels specifically when breastfeeding, estrogen naturally drops, which can lead to:

• Vaginal dryness and irritation

• Redness & increased sensitivity

• Reduced muscle tone in the pelvic floor

• A burning or stinging pain with penetration

These symptoms are very real, and they’re not your fault. The good news is, there are simple and safe solutions.

Lubricants: The First Step to Comfortable Intimacy

Lubricants can make a big difference in reducing friction and soothing irritation. But not all lubricants are created equal, and choosing the right one matters — especially for sensitive postnatal tissues.

Types of Lubricants

• Water-based lubricants
  ✔ Safe with condoms
  ✔ Easy to clean
  ✘ Can dry out quickly, often needing reapplication

• Silicone-based lubricants
  ✔ Long-lasting and silky
  ✘ Harder to wash off
  ✘ Some women find them irritating

• Oil-based lubricants
  ✔ Nourishing and moisturising
  ✔ Gentle on sensitive skin
  ✘ Not compatible with latex condoms

The Best Lubricant for Postpartum: Olive & Bee

In my clinic, the product I recommend most often is Olive & Bee Intimate Cream.

Here’s why:

• 100% natural — made from olive oil and beeswax

• Chemical-free and safe for sensitive tissue

• Works as both a lubricant and an everyday vaginal moisturiser

• Gentle enough for postpartum recovery

Clients tell me it feels soothing, natural, and much kinder than supermarket lubricants filled with additives.

👉 Shop Olive & Bee here

What About Pelvic Floor Muscle Tightness?

While low estrogen and dryness are big contributors to painful sex after birth, sometimes the pelvic floor muscles themselves can also be part of the problem. After childbirth, these muscles may hold tension and become overactive, almost like they’re “bracing” all the time. This can cause pain, burning, or a feeling of tightness with penetration.

In these cases, gentle pelvic floor downtraining — learning how to release and relax the muscles — can be just as important as using lubricant. Techniques might include:

• Relaxed breathing and pelvic floor awareness

• Gentle stretches

• Guided relaxation exercises

• Working with a women’s health physiotherapist for personalised strategies

This combination of tissue support (through lubricant or vaginal estrogen) and muscle relaxation (through downtraining) often brings the best long-term relief.

When to See Your GP

Sometimes, lubricants alone aren’t enough. If you’re still experiencing pain, dryness, or redness, it’s worth discussing low-dose vaginal estrogen with your GP. This treatment works locally (not through the whole body) and can restore tissue health, elasticity, and comfort — especially if you’re breastfeeding.

Check out this document which goes into more detail about low- dose vaginal estrogen.

Final Thoughts

Painful sex after birth is common, but it’s not something you need to “push through.” With the right support — from natural lubricants like Olive & Bee to pelvic floor downtraining and, if needed, low-dose estrogen — intimacy can feel good again.

✨ Ready to feel comfortable and confident again? Shop Olive & Bee here. Need a pelvic floor physio and live in Melbourne? Book in with me here.